How to heal your bodies relationship to pleasure as a Woman
This article is going to break down the power of a woman’s pleasure & why her body might not be allowing her to experience true pleasure.
Walking this path of feminine healing and cultivation has revealed to me the essential nature a woman must embody if she desires to find her true self.
What I continue to find over and over again is just how vital pleasure is for women. So much of your sense of self stems from your relationship to pleasure. When a woman expands her capacity to feel pleasure, she begins to harness her power as a feminine soul.
Pleasure holds the energetic signature of joy, peace, deep safety, and embodied ecstasy. I will be the first to share that searching for true joy in life can feel like a hunt some days, let alone embodying my pleasure. Living a soft life that I enjoy is important to me and the women I surround myself with. A life of pleasure is important to women; our feminine design is unique in this way. I would say that genuinely creating and experiencing a life of pleasure is what my clients struggle with the most… recently I have begun to ask myself why.
Why is it so challenging for women just to feel pleasure?
If you’re new to me and my work I want to preface before sharing more that I am a sacred woman. I am a priestess, an oracle, and most importantly a woman who is deeply devoted to the spirit of life itself. Much of my work and findings around the Divine Feminine stem from my experience as a sacred, devotional woman. In my own way, I listen to her.
Recently I was in Costa Rica staying at the gorgeous retreat center where I will be hosting the UNFURL retreat in May 2024! Being surrounded by beauty, lusciousness, and the organic nature of Mother Earth always opens me. There was a special moment that seeded this whole conversation around Feminine Pleasure, and I want to share it with you.
The sun was setting on, and if you have ever stayed along the pacific coast of Costa Rica, you know that this is a special, special time. The elements were dancing with pure beauty and sensuality, and I couldn’t help myself but to indulge in golden hues of the ocean. As I waded in the salty waters, swimming, and playing with the waves I began to notice my own edge to feel the joy and pleasure of that moment. My body was only open to so much of the joy in the moment… I was only allowing myself to feel a fraction of the pleasure that life was gifting me. Have you ever experienced this before?
I closed my eyes, and I asked the Goddess “why”?
Why is it so hard for me to feel pleasure?
I know in that moment I was asking and praying for all of us. All the women who are on this wild feminine healing journey, and deeply desiring to expand their capacity to just feel pleasure! The truth is there are some moments, some experiences that are easier to feel than others, and there is a reason for this which I will get more into later. But for now I want to share what the Goddess told me when I asked her this question.
Pleasure is a woman’s birthright.
It is the doorway to knowing her power.
It is what makes her life vibrant and meaningful.
There are too many causes that have lead women to fear their own pleasure, let alone the power that it will bring them. Whether it be the demise of the sacred feminine, the hyper masculine nature of modern life, or even the shame pressed upon women around their erotic innocence. There are simply too many accounts that have lead women to shrink their capacity to deeply know and feel pleasure. “Simplify it” she told me, “Trauma in the body”.
My heart and womb began to ache for all of us. Fore the pain that we have faced, that the women who have come before us have faced is so dark. Dark enough that we have compromised our sense of pleasure and aliveness to simply “stay prepared” just in case that trauma, or horrific event ever happens again.
My love, it is easier for your body to stay in a sympathetic nervous system state. Fight or flight is familiar – staying in your pain is easier for your body. This is only because this is how she has learned to survive. Not because you aren’t worth of feeling pleasure. The reason is so simple… your body is scared to feel true, full pleasure.
And if you’re reading this article, I believe it is because you are ready to change that. You are ready to heal whatever is blocking you from embodying the grand capacity you have to feel pleasure, sensuality, and joy in everyday life.
So, if you want to expand your capacity to feel more pleasure whether that be sexually, or in friendships, business ( all areas of your life can be touched by pleasure ), I must tell you that it all begins in your body.
You simply need to teach your body how to feel deep pleasure again; remind her how.
There is a core principle that I live & lead from. It is the foundational value that has given my life so much meaning and grace.
This principle is :: The plane of existence that you exist from, exists within your body first.
If you want to expand your capacity to feel more pleasure, you have got to begin by looking at your body. Specifically your central nervous system and the fascia around the back side of your body.
Fascia is the continuous network of connective tissue in the body, and it is deeply woven into your nervous system. There are more neurons being shared through your fascia right now then your bodies nerves themself. Which hopefully shows you just how important your fascia is if you want to start feeling more pleasure.
The connection between your nervous system and fascia is amazing. Neurons are nerve cells that control your brain body connection, and help you do everything from talking, breathing, sleeping, and of course feeling. To me, we can’t bypass this intelligence if we want to heal your feminines ability to feel more pleasure. The communication taking place in your fascia is called interoception : the **awareness of your bodies internal state. Because of your interoception, you are able to recognize our feelings. It is the emotional intelligence of your body. If the plane of existence that you exist from, exists within your body then I would believe that your fascia is the physical location that your existence begins from. In other words, the center point of your inner & outer reality ~
In those moments when you are experiencing something beautiful and good, like making love, watching the sunset, or even being told you are loved, and you notice your body contract and limit the pleasure you feel… know that this response is stemming from your fascia. Between your brain and body there is a conversation being had about whether it is safe for your to feel the fullness of this experience. Depending on what your body decides, she will then allow what is deemed “safe” into your nervous system.
I’m sure by now love, you’re asking yourself “how do I change this?” And my answer is straightforward. Work with your body. Full stop.
If you want to feel more pleasure, do things that teach your body that pleasure is safe!
Somatic healing and tantra are the two pathways that I work with to help women heal the stories and narratives that hold them back from exploring the beauty, pleasure, and peace of womanhood. If you want to start exploring these pathways, check out my ebook Feminine Ecstasy, or The Vessel – my membership that houses all of my feminine healing practices!
In my work I focus on cultivating parasympathetic pleasure. Teaching your body how to naturally live life in the parasympathetic state.
Feminine healing is devoted to helping your body open to her birthright of pleasure, peace, and joy.
Knowing when to be in your parasympathetic flow vs your sympathetic state is vital. This knowing exists beyond your mind, and is cultivated deep within your body.
Gifting yourself environments where your body can remember what true harmony in her nervous systems feels like is essential if you want to expand your capacity to feel pleasure.
Your pleasure is your greatest power as a woman. Pleasure is the power that gives your life meaning. Prosperity, peace, purpose – all of it is meaningless if you don’t have a good relationship with pleasure.
And yes I am talking about your sexual pleasures and the many other pleasures of life, from your food, clothes, enjoying the sunset, or even the feeling of receiving something you’ve prayed for.
How well do you receive?
Restoring the sense of pleasure that is your feminines natural state takes devotion.
Because women are receptive creatures by nature, I believe that the best way to feel more pleasure in life begins with giving yourself the opportunity to receive more.
Setting the intention to retrain your bodies relationship to pleasure, and then putting her in environments where she gets to work out those kinks is the exact place that will give you the changes you’re seeking.
As always, I am happy to create that environment with you!
If it resonates consider joining me for 1:1 mentorship, or my feminine healing sessions.
I also have a gorgeous retreat that I am leading in May that is completely devoted to feminine pleasure and peace. Learn more about the UNFURL Retreat here.
With love, Taraney
